Is it bedtime yet

One thing I've never been able to be is anything other than myself. Take it or leave it...most people leave it. I'm way too honest and real which has always had a strange effect on people in church culture. Well if that's you then you might not like this next part.

Being a mommy is hard...VERY HARD! And stopping drinking has been hard too. But I haven't had a drink in 6 years...and I don't regret it but it has still been hard none the less. Especially days like today that ended with hannah being sent to bed at 630 after she pooped in the bath tub. So instead I turn to food. Big sad face here but I guess I need to learn how to deal better. Totally was particularly hard and as Tim finally got home a little after 8 I held up my I've cream cone and said it was my pretend glass of wine... so that made it my 2nd glass lol.

So anyways luckily tomorrow will be a new day with a fresh start :-)

Longest week of my life

Something that I need to add to the list of things that are super hard as a mommy:

.... putting our children first before our own needs... I need to go to the gym.... I need a break from my children once in a while to feel sane... I need to keep myself in shape and to "somewhat like" the way that I look which only happens when I maintain a certain weight and even then I'm usually not happy with it anyways...

I haven't been to the gym in a month.... ewww.... just writing that out makes me sick... because that means 1 month worth of gym membership fees down the potty and wasted...

and speaking of the potty....

I didn't leave the house in a week while the kids were awake because of Hannah potty training. I felt so bad for my kids and they watched entirely too much tv and were starting to go a lil stir crazy. Hannah has done extremely well, but has had the typical problems with going #2... So I didn't allow her to wear any bottoms at all because each time I did she would poo in them. I have little patience or the stomach to deal with cleaning that up so I've thrown out a few pairs already. One time she did #2 on the potty so I let her put her big girl panties back on... and not even 5 min later she poos in them... that's my Hannah =)  I made her sit on a towel everywhere she went to help with accidents and she got the hint real fast. The first time I took her out of the house was for mutual on Wed night- Tim and I both have to be there for our church callings so we basically didn't have a choice. She had been potty training for a week and I thought it would be fine.  Lol... Within an hour she had 2 accidents... go figure lol. But we've been out of the house a few times since then and she's doing amazing. Even staying dry at night time too.

So my house is a disaster and so is my body because I desperately want it to be fitter and toner and overall smaller... but for now I'm a mommy and where I need to be with my children. This next week should be much better as I WILL get back into a gym routine. TTFN...