Furniture experiments

Ok so a quick run down of what's been going on. A friend and I switched tables. We both got them for free and decided what the heck. This is a gorgeous old table with tons of character. The only problem I have with it now is that I'm not 100% in love with the color- at least in my dining room. I think it needs to be darker, and it's supposed to be- but the lighting make it look too washed out against the gray walls. But I'm going to have to live with it until spring time when I can get outside and redo it.

See what I'm talking about character- see those beautiful curves- ahhh I love it!

Ah and of course my not so favorite chairs.

Black they went- not too bad black. Still not my fav, but they definitely work until I can get some more cheap ones and redo them.

Ahhh remember this one??

K you can't really see it in the pic. The girlies were super duper excited to sit on it together. And nice smiles!

Better pic- repainted and new fabric. Not the best wrap job- it was my first- but hey I can only get better from here =)

Now this piece is a good ol laminate tv stand from Wally world that Tim and I got from our wedding- well wedding money bought it. And when we moved into our new house it sat in storage for 6 months... with masking tape over the drawer and it pulled the laminate off. I've been dying to do something to it. Tim really wanted to buy another one. I don't blame him. But I wanted to try to fix it first.

I'm pretty happy with how it turned out. And I'm in love with how it goes in my living room.

And finally my hutch. Another free piece we've had for a few years. See a common them here?? We've had an overload of wood colored pieces. And I'm talking complete overload. Especially with our wood floors. Tim is a "wood-colored" furniture kind of guy. He would rather that I keep everything the same or just fix it and restain it. I told him that he would come home one day and it would be painted, lol, so get ready for it. I'm horrible with before pics. Trying to get better, but the hutch is the piece in the back. And that's my friend Whitney- here's her blog again- http://www.whitneyvintage.blogspot.com/ she really is amazing.

And ta-da---- Here's my new hutch. Painted black and I was able to use the existing hardware. Just spray painted them with this gorgeous hammered spray that I've used around the house already on various fixtures. I'm so IN LOVE with this. And people that have come in can't believe it's the same piece. To be honest I can't either. Still have a few other furniture pieces to finish. They're already painted, but need fabric seat and some modge podge designs added. Will post pics when finished cause those are great indoor winter projects for me to tackle.

Busy little bees

Ok... it's been way too long since I've posted last. I'm a bit horrible at that right now and I need to do better. Life has been super busy. I think part of me has been trying to stay extra busy so I don't have to think about all of the bad stuff that has happened... well I guess I can't really say all of the bad stuff... I guess I should say "the" bad thing. So anyways I've learned how to sew. Nothing special yet. I had a stack of about 10 or so items that have been waiting to be mended for oh, a year or so, so I tackled that. Then a few others things needing to be fixed have come up so I've done that too.

Then I bought a paint sprayer and have been refinishing pieces in my home. My awesome and uber talented friend Whitney helped me with my hutch and some chairs and then I got inspired and bought my own spray gun. Ah-ma-zing is all I can say- those things are awesome and such a time saver. She's started up a blog recently showcasing her beautiful pieces- which of course are for sale- http://www.whitneyvintage.blogspot.com/ . Check it out! Same friend recently did her first craft show and had asked me to make some flower hair clips for her to sell... so I did... 0ver 100 in a little over a week and I was pooped after doing that. I've been thinking about trying to sell them around town and possibly online now so hopefully I'll get the motivation for that.

Then I've been super busy with church and family.... and my lil monster turned 3- what the heck and where on earth did time go?!! She had a birthday party with family and then this year I threw her a bday party with friends. Yep it was a mad house for an hour with a million little kidlets running around, but it was so worth it. Hailey had a blast.

We also managed to get out to Scarywood again this year. Soooo much better than the 1st year we went, which was 2 years ago. They really do a great job with that out there. Long lines were sucky ducky of course, but oh well. And we remembered to bundle up good- I think I had 4 layers on, lol- so I was nice and toasty warm this time too.

And finally Tim's Buick- aka the beast- that he's had since before I met him-8+ years ago- finally "crapped" out. Luckily we were able to sell it to Pull and save and at least get a little money out of it. And then we bought a van... awesome steal of a deal too. $4500 2000 Oldsmobile Silhouette at 75K miles and it's in fab shape. Not my fav color/ design, but I couldn't pass up that price, etc. And actually it runs great and had some mom-friendly features that I love.... sooo I'm a pretty happy mama. But I wasn't happy with the van until last night... when we finally got it back from the mechanics. See the day that we bought it I went to get it licensed, etc. and the thing wouldn't pass emissions. And no I'm not joking. So we took it straight to the mechanics and over 2 weeks later we got it back... and our bill is going to be around $1000. Not joking again. It turns out that something was wrong with the CAM sensor and then when investigating that our mechanic discovered that the gaskets were bad on the outside and if they fail on the inside then it would ruin the engine. So overall I'll take $1000 over $4-5000 any day, which is what it would have cost for a new engine.

Ok that's a run down of the past few weeks. And besides me being extra emotional lately things are pretty darn good. I consider myself to be pretty tough emotionally... well not anymore. Doesn't take much to make me tear up and it really weirds me out. For the most part I feel like I've handled things fairly well. That is until some dumbstick tells me to be thankful for the children that I do have. I seriously want to punch them in the face when I hear that. Of course I'm thankful for my girls, my amazing hubby, and so many other things that my Heavenly Father has blessed me with. I'm not blind to all of these things. But I also can't ignore the pain that I've felt. But something that really hits straight to the core is when someone says that they are due in April... it's seriously just cuts straight to my heart. I just pray that I'm able to handle this ok when this next April comes around. I know that we're going to have more children, but to be completely honest I'm a little scared. Scared for it to happen again. I know that it's always a possibility, but going through that again is a very scary thought. Sorry I feel like a pity party right now. Please ignore this if it bothers you. I sometimes use this blog for more of a venting session than I should. Now I promise to post a few good ones w/ pics of what's been going on lately.

Still trying

I thought I was doing ok. And I guess I still am. But today has not been a good day for me. Things were going great up until I got to church. I got the girls ready like normal by myself ( for those who don't know Tim has meetings every Sunday before church) and was on my way. I wasn't even going to be late, which is always nice. So the minute I sat down I started to get emotional. I had someone ask me how I was doing and I was just sitting so still trying not to lose it. Then I noticed more people than usual... for a baby blessing. I tried to swallow that huge lump in my throat. I was sitting so still just trying to compose myself and a few tears slipped out. Tim looked over and realized that I was upset. Even now writing this is hard for me. As they announced the baby blessing and everyone was going up front for it is when I completely lost it. I immediately booked it out of the chapel and into the mothers room where it was dark. I was full on bawling- my biggest worry had come true. The only thing that brought me back to reality was that right after I left our seats Hailey said she had to go potty and Tim had her come after me. Our church building is really old and the mother's room is connected to the women's bathroom. Hailey poked her head in and said "mommy" and of course I had to get up and help her. If it wasn't for her I probably would have sobbed the entire rest of sacrement meeting. Luckily I was able to compose myself enough to return for the rest of the meeting. But my mood didn't really improve much. So here I am... at home again because this is my safe place.

I suppose I need to give myself some credit. I got up today, got me and the girls ready for church, and we went. I know that I'm a pretty emotionally tough person, but I can't expect myself to never have a hard time with things. I thought that I was ok with everything, but it turns out that I'm not as insensitive as I thought I was. Yes I'm stil grieving. I still have that emptiness inside. But I know the fact that I'm putting the pieces of my life back together is a good thing. The fact that I'm even trying... that feels good.

Put away your phone already!!!

Hmm... I must be starting to feel more like myself to have a post like this.
And I can honestly say that I am.
Part of me feels a little insensitive for not feeling sad and miserable longer, but I'm honestly glad that I don't. I want to be ok with it. I want to move on. I want to be a fun and happy mom to my girls and to be the wife that my husband deserves.

So anyways we went to Red Robin tonight for dinner. Score for me since it's been over a week since I've cooked dinner. Ugh guess that's going to have to change if I'm really going to get back into my old routine... But anyways back to pet peeves. I have many. Shocking right, lol?!
So one of my biggest ones by far is when people are out to dinner... and they can't put away their cell phones... especially when they are out to dinner as a family. So while mom and dad sat on one side of the table both on separate phones their son- probably about 6 years old or so sat across the table from them and not a word was spoken. Wow- way to go mom and dad. Great parenting and family time.

I can do this

I finally had a distinct feeling today that I'm going to be just fine. I feel this thick cloud that's been surrounding me start to lift away. I know that it will take time, but my smile will come back. I will learn to laugh and socialize just like I did before and I will get through this.

Last night was the first time that I've been around that many people. I had one of my YW come up and hug me and say that she was sorry about my miscarriage. Exact words. Took me back a little and I was really trying to be nice since I'm supposed to be the adult and an example to her, but I didn't really know what to say. I think that I mumbled a quick thanks. Then I had one of the YM leaders tell me to "smile". I almost wanted to wave the unpleasant finger at him, but thought that might not be a good idea. I thought that I had been being pleasant enough but whatever. It just felt good to be trying to get back to normal with life.

Tonight I finally made it back to the gym for the first time. It felt good to burn some calories and really good to get out of the house away from my girls for a bit. It's really weird when I go out because I find myself thinking "the last time I was here I was pregnant"... but tonight it didn't make me cry. And the sad songs on the radio didn't make me cry either. And I started to feel like the old me just a little bit more.

My oompa loompa

Figured another nice post was in order. This was after she had raviolis. It doesn't look like she ate much from the pictures, but she really did finish her bowl. Just a lot ended up on her face too, lol. I think I know how they dyed the oompa loompa's skin in Willy Wonka now. And I thought this one was too creepy not to share.

Venting out my anger

I think that a trip to the gym is due- probably later tonight. I absolutely want to scream and for once this has nothing to do with the miscarriage. Or maybe it does a little because my emotions have already been on a roller coaster and this just adds to the insanity right now.

2 days ago I got a "lovely" little letter in the mail from Avista. See I used to like Avista. Because I have always used the comfort billing option. Why?!! Because I would rather pay the same amount year round than have to scrimp and save for the insanely high winter month bills. Well this letter stated that they were raising my bill from $106 each month to... hold on... I think I just choked when I looked at the amount again to... $271!!! Are you freaking kidding me?!! That is almost triple the amount I was paying before.

And yes before you ask I understand the entire concept of the comfort billing system. I'm not a dummy. Yes, they raised my amount because we had a balance that needed to be paid off, but also I'm not a dummy. To have it jump like that is absolutely insane. And to do it to a low-income family like us means the difference between paying my avista bill or my family eating each month. They clearly should have adjusted the rate WAY before now.

Well of course I called. And the first dummy I talked to gave me the run around, blah, blah, blah. I know it wasn't her fault, but I was still pissed. So then I talked w/ someone above her. Blah, blah, blah yes idiot I understand comfort level billing. And so she referred me to Snap, which doesn't open until October and my bill is due the end of September. Wow isn't that just great. Ya I'm quite irritated right now and if there was a punch bag with the big avista sign on it right now I'd be beating it into the ground.

So I'll pay more than I was before, but there's no way on earth I'm paying that full amount. That's just ridiculous.